Digesting suppressed emotions
The shadow is the subconscious mind, our habitual patterns and limiting beliefs that play out in our every day life yet we are unaware of them. We are un aware why we react in certain ways, why we feel a certain emotion, why we have certain beliefs. We are conditioned by our environment and experiences. These become our deeply rooted beliefs, thought patterns that arise and the reason for our behaviour. They are like the filters in which we perceive ourself and the world around us.
The mind creates meaning around our experience and when we are un aware of the truth the meaning is distorted. When we are growing up we don’t have the ability to discern, the world revolves around us. Our corse sence of self starts to form early on based off of our experiences and the mind has the ability to create the '“I” identity. As we experience our emotions we learn what emotions are good, bad, wright, wrong what emotions are accepted and loveable and what emotions are not acceptable and loveable based oof of how we are treated when we express our emotions. The minds ability to identify with experience creates the “I am” so if when we express anger we are told “don’t be angry” “we identify as anger” if we are punished or ignored when we express anger we learn that anger doesn’t get us love, that anger is bad and wrong. Beinging I am anger and that anger is bad, wrong un lovable and un acceotable this creates an in ternal separtion and we suppress, deny and reject parts of our self. We can often then feel guilt and shame when anger arises. We learn to suppress our anger for fear of being un loved and un accepted which is necessary for our survival. We create copeing mechanisms to get our needs and desires met by suppressing our anger. We learn what is good and loveable, what is accepted and we become that. This is in authentic, like wearing masks that we are un aware of in oder please our parents and society. We learn not to listen to our emotions, which are our guidence. Anger for example is an emotion that arises when a boundary is crossed, when we feel powerless or fear. Anger can be the emotion that arises as a clear “no” but if we have learnt o suppress anger and feel shame and guilt when it does arise can lead us to saying yes to people and situations when it’s a no. I am using anger as an example because its the emotion that has the most resistance to it. Anger is very misunderstood and is the emotion that we as humans have the most negative association with. Especially in the spiritual community anger is seen as being un spiritual, un loving and this is a very dangerous belief. From my own experience growing up I said yes to people and situations that I didn’t want to say no to that lead me through some very traumatic experince’s. I said yes for fearing of being un loved and un accepeted. The anger that arose when my boundaries were crossed was suppressed because anger was not an emotion that was met with love and understanding growing up. I didn’t learn how to listen to my emotions, to feel them and understand them.
When we expereince a tramatic event we are often very overwhelmed with emotions. We may not be able to process those emotions at the time so they get supressed. Emotions are energy vibrations, as we know energy can not be destroyed, it is transformable yes. When energy like emotion is suppressed there is a great amount of effort used to resist it, as we resist is it gains more power and the push back is greater. This often leads to physical illness, phycological ill ness and un regulated emotions or an explosive out burst.
As we grow up we find ourself being triggered by what some one says, a situation, a or a look. The mind body has the ability to remember the past and the motions will arise. The way in which we react to experiences becomes our habitual patterns that become deeply engrained. We lean coping mechanisms for getting our needs and desires met in un healthy ways. We learn coping mechanisms to keep the emotions suppressed because we fear feeling them, they are often very painful and we fear be overwhelmed by them, the longer they are suppressed the more power they gain and we fear being out of control. We fear the consequences of our speech and actions if we were to fully feel the emotions. Most of all we fear that if we were to allow them to be felt that we would feel that way for ever. Remember we supressed them in the first place becuse there were too overwhelming.
We can not get rid of emoiotns energy can not be destroyed and if we contiune to supress them we are powerless, they control us. We never know whats going to happen, when we will get triggered. By fully digesting them they lose their power. We are triggered fro a reason it’s to allow these emotions to be processed. They hold great wisdom of personal truths.
Un processed emotions become suppressed we adopt coping mechanism in a desperate attempt to not feel. Addictions of all kinds, self harm and denial are al an attempt to not feel our emotions. The fear of being overwhelmed by them, their power so intense that we suppress, deny and reject them. By resisting them they gain more power and we can end up becoming sick, physically and physiologically or exploding into emotional reactivity. Often leading to a feeling of separation, guilt and shame with us. We can feel in authentic desperately hiding behind masks that we create in oder to appear differently to others.
Surrender allowing the intelligence of our emotions to come through, giving ourself permission to feel it all in dee surrender. Integrating of all parts of ourself with love and understanding. By first becoming aware of them, accepting them, understanding them and integrating them. Rather than pushing them away in denial we bring them closer, we hold them, we feel into them, listen to them and by doing so the transformation of alchemy occurs. When we go through this process they no longer arise with such intensity in a bid to be seen, felt and heard. When we know the truth of them they no longer have the power to control us. This is the power and wisdom or awareness and integration.
We are able to discern between limiting beliefs and thoughts based off of ignorance. We are able to be fully present with what is wether its an intense emotion or a difficult external situation without becoming overwhelmed by it. As we digest our emotions our energy body is strengthened and we are able to hold all experience. We become aware, aware of the truth and is in that awareness where all experience is filtered through the truth.
We all have shadows it it part of the human experience. Shadow work is the work of becoming aware, the ability to hold all experience in total acceptance, understanding, love and compassion for it all. the power of this work is the alchemic transformation that changes the way we live our lives moment our moment.
Shadow work is a transformative process. Often we are in denial un able to accept parts of ourself because they were deemed un loveable, un acceptable, bad and wrong. This causes us to feel guilt and shame around them. It can be incredible un comfortable, confronting and painful as we start to become aware of our shadows. But once we take responsibility for our shadows and we accept them we are bale to transform them. This gives us the power to change the way we live our lives. What we discover in our shadows is our wisdom the alchemical transformation allows us to live authentically, integrated and at peace.
We learn to dance between the shadows and the light. There is beauty in that darkness, a wisdom that has the power to liberate us through the transformative process of integration. Discovering the power of awareness is self realisation.